By listening to what the experts have to say about the causes of depression, you’ll find a list of factors such as:
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Financial strain
- Lack of social support
- Health problems or chronic pain
- Unemployment or underemployment
- Marital or relationship problems
- Recent stressful life experiences
- Family history of depression
- Early childhood trauma or abuse
Unfortunately, they’re all wrong. Lots of people deal with these various factors that, while stressful, don’t cause depression. The items listed above can cause stress and hardship, but there is no reason for them to cause depression.
Now of course, childhood abuse and some of those other factors certainly don’t help you live a healthy life. But they don’t really cause the depression.
I am not a doctor. But I did go through severe depression. For many years. I ended it completely, and I’ll show you how to end it completely, too.
What Really Causes Depression
Before I do, let’s look at what really causes depression.
You’ve got a flow of emotion inside you right now. A raw flow of feelings and thoughts. (An emotion is simply a ‘package’ of thoughts and feelings.)
Out of this raw thought and feeling, you think your thoughts and feel your feelings. But we’ve been taught and conditioned to believe feelings are wrong and bad and we shouldn’t even have them. So while we let ourselves think (thinking is okay – just don’t do it too much!) we’re taught and conditioned that we shouldn’t have feelings.
Or at least keep the feelings under control. And don’t feel too much. And for goodness sakes, don’t feel your feelings with any kind of intensity.
Initially, we only try to close down the ‘bad’ feelings – the distressing ones.
“Good girls don’t get mad.”
“Big boys don’t cry.”
But that’s just where it starts.
The problem is, you can’t really shut out certain feelings while letting other ones through. All feelings travel through the same pathway. Crimping a garden hose restricts the entire flow. Same thing here.
We want to not feel certain emotions, but instead we’re constricting all of them.
Emotions are the source of our power. They are the very source of our aliveness. When you don’t feel your feelings, you start shutting down. But you don’t know why you keep feeling worse. You think the feelings are what’s making you feel pain.
But in actuality, it’s when you don’t feel the feelings that pain starts. Not feeling your feelings is painful. It takes work, and effort. You’ve got to manufacture all sorts of stories about your feelings.
The stories are like little structures that impede or block the flow of feelings. And the structures become the very source of emotional pain in our lives.
Also, your heart wants to feel your feelings. But it’s being denied. Because of your heart’s longing to feel, when the feelings are blocked off, that will also cause emotional pain.
So what’s really causing the depression here?
Depression is when you have a lack of your true feelings. Blocking your true feelings from entering your heart will lead you to depression. Unfortunately, we think our feelings are the source of the problem so we keep shutting them down more. Which only makes things worse. But it’s really the structures that have become little pain factories, along with the dearth of feelings in our heart.
The cause of depression comes from blocking your true feelings – step by step – until we lose the aliveness that feelings give you. So technically, the loss of aliveness causes the depression.
Here’s the important point:
Your heart longs to feel! It’s painful to not feel. So the obvious answer involves opening up your heart so it can feel.